It’s with a mixture of sadness and hopeful expectation that I am saying good bye.  This will be my last blog post for quite some time.

Sadness because Dancing feels like a comfy pair of slippers.  A lot has come to pass for me and my family because of the things written in the pages of this blog.   And a lot of friendships (and other things) have been forged.   I have learned a lot over the years from each of you, whether you liked or hated what I had to say.   I hope you have received from me even half of what I have gained from all of you.

Hopeful expectation because I have mercifully been given an opportunity to save not just my life but that of my family.   I have a chance to be reconciled to my wife and kids.

I’m going to rehab.

Easter Morning, 2011

A couple weeks ago Amy asked me if I would be open to a live-in facility treating sexual addiction.  I told her I would be open to doing anything if it meant further healing and the possibility of rewriting our story together.   Soon after we found a place that seemed to fit our practical/financial needs while addressing the spiritual dimension of this 20-year war I have battled.

Pure Life Ministries, in Big Ridge, Kentucky, seems to be the spot.

A few days ago Amy invited me home – on the couch – while I wait for my application to be accepted. It was today.

I’ll be checking-in within the next week, we hope.  The $2000 induction fee (which is pennies compared to most treatment centers) has to be paid first and thankfully a few donors have offered to help with some of that.

Once gone I will not have access to email, internet, social media, cell phone or cheetahs (the last is the most difficult).    I’ll have to relearn the art of writing letters or using a pay phone on the weekend.

This journey will be for a minimum of 6 months or as long as one year.  

I don’t need to tell you what a burden this places on my wife.   With 5 kids to raise she is taking a huge risk sending her husband off for 6+ months to heal.   She is Amy, Full of Grace.   Words can’t express my gratitude towards her nor my sense of helplessness as I leave them behind to fend for themselves.

The reality, however, is that in my acting-out she has been fending for herself for far too long.

I’ll be turning the keys to this site along with the Paypal account linked to this blog (upper right) over to her.   Amy is going to need help during this time and I am choosing to trust that the family I have come to know and love online will think of her and our kids from time to time and drop them some words of encouragement if not some spare change.

Thank you for your prayers, love, support and friendship.   Life has been one helluva journey since March and that whole business with losing my job as pastor for believing that there is enough hell on earth for us to fight that we don’t need an eternal one.  But I never felt more like a pastor than I have with you, here.   Thank you for that gift.

Here’s to hoping and praying that indeed…

Love.

Wins.